1、一朋友泡吧到凌晨归，家门被媳妇反锁了，他拼命持续敲门叫道：媳妇开门，媳妇开门。
十几分钟后，屋内传来浑厚的男低音：我可以给你开门，但你要保证不打我。 2、上班途中，见一位老大爷推着一个老太太，心想真温馨啊！
谁料，那老头停了下来，对老太太说：“下来，该你推我了！”3、我发说说：“真是受够了你们在朋友圈天天转发各种爱国口号。你走在马路上敢不敢扶跌倒的老人？敢不敢阻止正在行窃的小偷？如果这些都不敢，你还有脸说要和美国大兵拼尽最后一滴血。”
下面神回复：“你捣憨子模电线的吧！”4、面对法医的鉴定报告，王警官陷入沉默，思考了很久才开口对法医说：“你写的啥几吧字？”5、猪、狗、狐狸、流氓，四个由大众投票比试人品。
最终排名狗、猪、狐狸、流氓。
下面发表感慨，猪：唉，我连狗都不如。
狐狸：呜，我竟然猪狗不如。
流氓：没想到，我竟是禽兽不如。
---------无他,只是爆笑而已
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